For many people, anger is the hardest emotion to control. It happens abruptly and before they know it, they have said or done something to hurt the person making them angry. Anger, like other emotions, is a natural reaction although there are cases when a person gets angry for no obvious reason at all. If this is the case or if anger is oftentimes uncontrollable, causing harm to oneself and to others, it is advised that that person undergoes a psychological therapy program referred to as anger management.

Anger management programs employ several techniques to help someone control anger and the things that trigger it. Being able to manage anger better means that the person is able to lessen the intensity of the emotion, hence, reducing its negative effects. Take note that anger management is about control and not suppression. It is a terrible misconception that the solution to uncontrollable anger is learning how to suppress it. Bottled-up anger will only lead to greater emotional turmoil and stress, which can adversely affect one’s health and relationships.

Do you need anger management?

We express anger in different ways but generally anger falls into two categories – passive and aggressive. Your first thought might be that anger management is for those who express their anger aggressively but this is not so. You can be passive about your anger in a destructive way. People who harbor anger are often guilty of secretly attacking the person they dislike, oftentimes through backbiting, gossiping or writing a complaint letter or poison pen letter anonymously.

Those who constantly find fault in another person or put people down are passively angry people. The opposite of this, which is blaming oneself for almost everything wrong that happens around you, can also be a manifestation of passive anger. Passive anger can also manifest through manipulative behavior such as emotional blackmailing or through dispassionate behavior like ignoring a person, giving a fake smile.

Not reacting at all to someone’s anger or avoiding confrontations are classic signs of passive anger. Some types of substance abuse and obsessive behavior are some of the dangerous signs of this type of anger such as oversleeping and overeating.

Aggressive anger, on the other hand, is what causes many of the things that generate news coverage so you would be familiar with its signs such as threats, bullying, physical abuse, verbal abuse, destroying things, accusing people, picking fights, discrimination, showing-off, being vengeful and raging over trivial things. Dangerous substance abuses like alcoholism and drug addiction are also manifestations of aggressive anger.

Showing one or two signs described above once in a while does not mean you need anger management therapy but if you or someone you know displays a constant behavior of either passive or aggressive anger, learning anger management is necessary to avoid inflicting harm or causing further damage.

A simple technique to control your anger is to calm yourself through deep breathing. If you notice, when you get angry your breathing quickens so if you are able to slow it down, it help you calm down your emotions as well. As you focus on your breathing, it allows you to stop and assess what is aggravating you.

This is a very important step in anger management because the things that trigger anger oftentimes occur out of the blue and the angry reaction is usually instant, too. Anger management teaches you the value of stopping to think before you say or do something out of anger that you may regret later.

Another helpful anger management method is directing anger towards constructive activities like exercise. Daily exercise like running or biking is a great way to release stress and anger. Exercise is also known to release hormones that uplifts mood so it can help you better deal with all other negative emotions.  

The tips above are just some of the typical techniques in anger management but there are certainly more ways that you can express anger without being destructive. Read self-help books or seek a professional if you have trouble controlling your anger. Get the help you need and start on the road to becoming a better person.