Bereavement can be one of the most painful experiences one has to endure. People grieve over a loss and work through bereavement in different ways. One grieves in his own way and time. Grieving takes time for one to get through it and it cannot be hurried. The time it will take for one to get past grief depends on the person, his relationship to the person and the cause of the loss.

Especially if it is the loss of a family member, a close friend or a spouse, and if the death is sudden or violent, one may simply feel stunned, which makes it difficult for him or her to believe that it has actually happened, thus making the grieving process longer and more difficult. One may feel emotionally numb, which is but a normal part of the grieving process although it can become a problem if it persists longer than it should.

After some time, the numbness will eventually disappear and can be replaced with a feeling of agitation and yearning for the lost loved one. You may have a feeling of wanting to find them, although the signs are obvious that it is already impossible. People who experience this kind of feeling may have difficulty keeping their focus, relaxing or sleeping. They feel that they see their loved one wherever they go. Moreover, their dreams can also be disturbing as well.

During this stage, you may feel angry over the loss – you are angry at God, at fate, the person/s who are responsible for the death or could have prevented the loss, etc. You can also feel guilt. You may find yourself going over in your mind all the things you should have, would have or could have said or done to the lost person. These feelings are natural, common and understandable. However, a bereaved person should be reminded that death is out of his/her control.

Usually, the stage of agitation is at its strongest for about two weeks following the death followed by depression, sadness, silence and withdrawal. Although the agitation wanes, the bouts of depression get more frequent, reaching their height for about four to six weeks. Grief spasms may occur at any time, which can be brought about by people, things or places that are reminiscent of the lost person.

Some people may find it hard to understand or get embarrassed when the bereaved person suddenly cries for no apparent reason. During this phase, you may be tempted to veer away from people who do not completely share your grief or understand. However, turning away from other people may cause your problems to fester in the long run. It is best to try to return to your normal activities after a few weeks. These different phases of bereavement often overlap and manifest in various ways and in different people. People mostly recover from major bereavement within a period of one or two years.

The last stage of grieving is letting-go. You finally accept the loss of the person and start to get on with your life. Your depression totally clears and your energy goes back to normal.

There is no standard way when mourning for the loss of a loved one. People have their own way of grieving and it is important to allow them enough time to mourn. Other people can get over a loss quickly, while some take longer. Of course, you need to show a person in mourning that you sympathize and care, and try as much to be there for the person when s/he needs you. Having people whom they can talk to, share their feelings with and cry on can help speed up their recovery process.