Why do people argue or fight? Are you somebody who loves to quarrel and even resort to furious rage?  Or are you the type who shrinks into your own corner and avoid the conflict in every possible way?  Whatever the type of person you are, you would need readjusting.  You have to learn to resolve disagreements the healthy way.  

Everybody’s aware of those situations when conflict happens and things get out of hand.  Even the simple word “conflict” raises negative associations of arguing, fear, fighting, anger, withdrawal, loneliness, and hurt.  Conversely, relationship conflicts may open the door to personal growth and mutual understanding. So, it can actually be a “good” thing.

There have been some couples claiming they haven’t had a single disagreement in their relationships.  This is highly unlikely, and it’s also extremely unhealthy.  There’s not a single fulfilling and happy relationship without conflicts.  If there hasn’t been any, then something’s definitely wrong.  It can typically mean that one party is keeping it all inside, and trying very hard to please the other –sooner or later the bomb is going to explode.

The key to profiting from relationship conflicts is through using nonverbal and verbal communication for resolving the conflict.  Solving conflicts and disagreements at once and painlessly, enables the trust to flourish.  For short, conflicts can be good if you know how to deal with it.  Here are some healthy strategies for conflict resolution:

Stay calm and focused in an intense situation

This is a very important skill in resolving conflicts.  If you’re able to be centered and stay calm despite how intense a conflict can be, then you’re sure to prevent the situation from getting worse and out of hand.

Recognize what “matters most”

It is always helpful to know what’s the most important thing to you, and have the ability to experience strong emotions.  Never numb the feelings of anger, fear, or sadness, as this will compromise the ability to deal with differences and solve them.

Identify and read “nonverbal cues”

Eye contacts, facial expressions, posture, voice tone, and posture are some nonverbal cues.  If you know how to read them, then it can help avoid conflicts before they even occur.  

Know when to apply humor

Being playful in conflict situations can help ease the heavy and intense feeling the both of you are feeling.  However, you have to know when to and when no to inject humor in conflicts.  Lots of dangerous situations in relationships may be avoided when you use humor at the appropriate moment.
 
Acknowledge both your needs

When you recognize not only your need, but your partner’s as well, then this opens up endless possibilities for solving disagreements.  Identifying correctly the needs of your partner and yours too, is the only way that you’d be able to come up with a compromise.   Misunderstanding your partner’s needs endangers a relationship.

Speak openly

It is important for you and your partner to speak openly about both your needs.  More importantly, share your feelings towards these needs.  Never hold back anything, as it will eventually backfire on you.

Work a compromise

Understand that it can be impossible to resolve any conflict without compromise, especially if the needs are dissimilar.  Learn to be diplomatic.  

Conflict resolution can be learned, and using some of the great strategies will help a lot.  Consciously watch how you react to conflicts. Self-improvement towards handling conflicts is a key to solving them.  Keep in mind that if you and your partner don’t learn to compromise and come to a solution, it can end up in painful breakups.  Conflicts can be good for relationships when it elevates it to higher levels and stronger bonds.